HOW TO BEHAVE ON A FIRST DATE

Let me, first, introduce myself. I'm a Londoner, have lived in Milan for about 3 years and I go under the pseudonym of Bitch about Town. Before I venture further, I just wanted to clarify the term Bitch. It's not the term we use when your supposed best friend tries to seduce your boyfriend or purposely tries to show you up in public. No, I am referring to the Bitch as in the woman who maintains her dignity through thick and thin in all areas of her life, particularly when it comes down to her love life. And that’s what we are going to talk about today. The bitch I am referring to won't chase a man and certainly won't give up her life for him. She'll put him in his place when he steps over the line and won't let herself be swept away by a romantic fantasy. Yet she is feminine and subtle. There are no games, no calculated moves - she shows the guy she is dating that she is happy with her own life and that from one moment to the next, if he behaves badly, she could become unavailable to him.

Bitch about town's first date
First date, there's excitement but also composure. You dress to suit yourself - the way you dress will set the tone and convey certain messages about you. As women we know that when we dress sexily the messages we are giving out are: 'hey you, I'm a beautiful woman and I can have any man I want, so you better treat me right!' At the same time we are stroking the guy's ego because, out of all the fish in the sea, we have chosen to go out with him. He, on the other hand, is thinking, 'oh wow, she's really into me'!

On your very first date, if he brings up the subject of his ex or exes, nonchalantly look at your watch as if you are missing out on something great and when he stops talking long enough for you to politely change the subject, do so. Smile to yourself in the knowledge that he is probably feeling very insecure right now and therefore needs to brag about his conquests. And be rather wary of why he would be talking about a failed relationship to a complete stranger.
Another word of advice, if he starts asking questions about your ex, do not divulge any information. You hardly know the guy and the least information you give, the more intrigued he will be anyway.

When you go out on that first date, tell him you are not looking for something serious at the moment. Don't start saying that you are looking for your soulmate, or even worse, someone to look after you and have kids with. This will just make him run. By appearing unavailable he will relax and think, 'okay, this girl just wants to have fun' and he will let his barriers down. He can't anticipate what will happen next and this creates an element of excitement. He feels free. Before he knows it he will have fallen for you without realising it. And then you can start talking about the kids!

Most of the women in Milan are beautiful, skinny, sex goddesses AND single, busily bitching about the opposite sex. They warn me about how men in Milan move from one woman to another because there is so much choice out there. They are perfect gentlemen until they sleep with you and then they disappear. Do I see it? Yes and no. Men are just being men. Perhaps it's down to us to educate them in the true acts of courtship. Perhaps it is we who are letting them get away with everything. If Italian girls stuck together more, there would be a lot less single woman around. (I will talk about this in one of my next articles!) The first thing on a guy's mind is SEX. When he takes you out on that first date all he is thinking about is how he can get you into bed. That is normal. He is genetically programmed to think this way. If you make it too easy for him, he will probably get bored because he no longer perceives you as a challenge. Remember, men love challenges - they love to play football, sky dive, drive fast cars and motorbikes, they dream of becoming fighter pilots and firemen as children. How many men would let go of the chance of being Top Gun for a day? If you sleep with your date immediately he's probably thinking, 'um I wonder if she’s like this with every man?’ and you may lose his respect forever. An Italian guy, Stefano, once told me that after he had slept with a woman on their first date, he called her a cab in the middle of the night and she was forced to leave. The worst thing about all this is that she's still speaking to him! Excuse me?!
Remember that Stefano or someone like him could very well be your next date. So think twice before you become just another addition to his long list of conquests!